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Letting go of what keeps us stuck

Feeling stuck isn’t because you don’t know where to go, it is mostly because some old idea, a thing or older version of yourself is holding you back. Some outdated idea about yourself of who you are and what you do is keeping you from doing something different or just trying something you really want to. And most of the time it isn’t what we think of ourselves so much as what we think other people might think of us doing something other than what we’ve been doing all along that keeps us from moving forward.

There’s a Zen saying that goes, What you hold on to is holding you back.

The truth is I’ve kept myself  from doing stuff because I didn’t think I would look good or look right doing them. I always thought I needed the right outfit (but then I’d need the right body shape so that the right outfit would fit right!) or I won’t come across professional, or sounding intelligent enough. So what is the point of trying to do the podcast or public speaking thing or publish my book if I could’t look the way I felt I should? The list is actually endless.

And for some reason I kept surrounding myself with people who made me feel inadequate. I thought I was surrounding myself with people I could look up to to inspire and support me.

It turns out they were just ways I came up with to hold myself back. I did this by either comparing myself to them or by letting them tell me straight up that I don’t speak right, or my writing style is not polished enough or I’m not physically strong enough or attractive enough.

And if it weren’t the people I looked up to letting me know I was inadequate the rest enabled my insecurities. Someone that worked with me once told me,

“We need to be skinny. All the successful designers are skinny”.

This might’ve been a joke but this mindset isn’t too far from the truth. I’ve kept myself from doing things or going places because the thought of how I might look doing them didn’t fit into that idealised version of success I had for myself.

I can write all of this now because I’ve come to the realisation, and quite suddenly, that all of this holding on is utter nonsense. I’ve come to understand that in order to move forward and get on with what I want to do in life, I will need to let go of people, things, ideas and younger versions of myself. Time waits for no one so accept who you are, drop the things that are holding you back from moving forward and get on with it.

Perhaps Rumi said it best:

“Life is a balance between holding on and letting go.”

So lets go. Here are some ways of getting over yourself and the physical clutter in your home to start clearing a path for the way forward.

Things that stand in your way

  • Stuff You No Longer Use.
  • Clothes You Don’t Like Or Haven’t Used In A While. Worn out holy underwear.
  • Broken Things.
  • Old cards and notes.
  • Plants that are dead or sick.
  • Receipts
  • Old Magazines.
  • Broken old shoes
  • Memorabilia from the past.
  • If you have children, toys that are not used, that do not work or broken.

What happens when you clear these out

  • Your health improves
  • Better sleep
  • More Creativity
  • Improved relationships
  • Improved reasoning capabilities
  • Improved mood

Studies have shown that decluttering has a positive knock on effect in all areas of life, improved focus, reduced stress, better sleep and a greater sense of control. What is there not to love about it?

Questions to ask yourself that might facilitate the process

  • Why am I saving this?
  • How will I feel if I let go of this?

Separate and classify objects and items into piles

  • To donate.
  • To throw.
  • To sell.

Ways to create a relaxing and inspiring environment without selling or renovating your entire home:

  • Avoid Extreme noises
    These would include: startling alarm sounds, hectic background music, weird high pitched ringtones
  • Less strong lights
    Invest in dimmer switches, warm white lightbulbs, lamps with lampshades dotted all over the house instead of just harsh general lights
  • Less chemical colours
    Use calming natural colours on your furniture
  • Less sad memories
    Consciously create happy happy memories whenever you can
  • Finish unfinished projects
    Think about people having to clear out your drawers and shelves after you pass away. There is nothing so sad as coming across a loved one’s unfinished business. Don’t put off finishing writing that book, making the photo album or completing the painting
  • Cultivate positive energy in your home
    Be intentional about creating a warm and inviting atmosphere in your home.

Do a general cleaning and use boxes for organisation. Start with drawers and cabinets and conclude each piece before moving on to the next, do everything at your pace

  1. Trash
  2. Arrangements
  3. Recycling
  4. In doubt
  5. Gifts
  6. Donation
  7. Sell

As you cleanse watch what changes in you. As we clean our physical house, we also place order to our mind and heart. Practice detachment with material things that just fill your space and see how you’ll slowly able to do the same with more momentous situations.

Follow along on IG this month for more tips on how to tackle specific areas in your home to make space for more and better times spent doing the things you love and inspire.

Footnotes

References

Sleep Deprivation and Deficiency – How Sleep Affects Your Health. National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute, National Institutes of Health. Accessed 11/14/2022.